Sunday, March 6, 2011

Day 65


We went to a birthday party at the park today and my little girl swung most of the time. I even swung some myself. It is always fun to swing! Makes the child inside of you come alive!

I went to a ladies conference last night and the message really spoke to my heart. I woke up this morning early and could not get back to sleep. So I woke up, made me some coffee, prayed and wrote what I was feeling from last nights service and what I felt God was speaking to my heart. If its only for me then so be it but here it is:

Does God sometimes reveal voids with in us so that we will no longer block him from that part of our heart? Even though that Revelation causes us heartbreak and pain, it is a necessary part of growth into what God has designed for our lives. It is a great part of knowing God in a deeper way because we have shown him the core of who we are. We have shown him the good, the bad and the ugly that lurks within us. Even though he nudged in and revealed it to us. He has always seen it but we try to keep it hidden because it is something that we know makes us imperfect. We know we are imperfect but we try so hard to be perfect. Why don't we rely more on God's help instead of hiding them under a carpet only to be revealed when its time to clean house. 

When you truly search to know God all things have to be revealed in your life. All the good, all the bad. We are human, we get lonely, we get sad, we get tempted. Sometimes we fail and sometimes we pass. But all of it is a growth process.

A process that leads us closer to our Father  that is molding us into what He created us to be. I wish that I could take all these ugly things and not just sweep them under a rug but throw them out of my life but I have learned it is a process. We think we have cleaned house and maybe we did but maybe a little dust was still lurking so we said I will get that later and sweep it under the rug. And we all know what dust does. It grows!!!! And we keep sweeping and it keeps scattering. How in the world do you get it all out? I will tell you how, under the BLOOD! Yes that's is how and sometimes it is a process that goes on because well, we are human and it takes us time to let God conquer these things in our lives.

I know I am a daily challenge for my Savior but I am glad He love me so much to keep coming back every day to challenge me to be what he has designed for me to be. I am glad through His blood I have found mercy and grace. That I have found something in Him that nothing else can replace in this life.

But I also have to remember what Sis. Renea Chessor said last night. That God said it was not good for Adam to be alone. She said he had God and God said it was not good for him to be alone. We need friendship!

Sometimes I say that all I need is God. That if I am lonely then I am not letting Him be what he can be but He knows more than me and He knew it was not good to be alone. He knew that friendship brought something to our lives that we needed, something we could see and touch. He is everything we need but sometimes He sends it in people and they do help fill certain things in our lives that we desperately need. And we don't even realize what was missing until we see the gap they have filled in our hearts that God allowed   them to fill.  We can not do this alone! Its so hard, it is to trying! And we need the strength of friends when we seem weak. I am so glad God sent me friends. 

And I am glad my savior sees every part of me, my strength, my weakness and protects me from them.  Even though I am not always glad  when he sees my weakness because I don't like them myself. And I want to hide my weaknesses but I am glad he loves me so much that he says quit hiding and come to me!

(Sorry if this was everywhere but it was early when I wrote it)

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